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The twenty-first century has found us on a stable level in the gay expression –the gay pose is today an essential part of the postcard of Buenos Aires .
The general thinking in the gay community is unanimous –everyone agrees that this level of freedom of expression has no precedent. Although finding same-sex couples holding hands or kissing on the street is not that common, there is no doubt that gay signs are strongly present in the city's reality.
Coming out of the closet has become a visible occurrence, but how is that played out? Is it the same for everyone? Is the out-ness real? These questions as well as others are raised when you talk to gay people about Buenos Aires gay scenario.
From these conversations, one can distinguish three attitudes to coming out:
- Those who come in and out
- Those who came out but keep the closet key in their pocket
- Those who set their closet on fire.
Javier, a 54-year-old teacher, fits in the first group. “At work I don't disclose it –with family and friends it's pretty out, but at work I'd rather not mix professional with personal stuff.”
They interact in social groups where they opt out of talking about their sexual preferences, and in others where they do feel free to talk. Juan, a 36-year-old architect, adds that “My mother has known it since I was 19 but not my father –he would have a heart attack.” In these cases gay people come out of the closet and get back in, splitting the family into two: those who know and those who don't. Some are ‘afraid' to let their parents know, but the same fear appears toward their kids. “Eventually I'll tell everyone about it, but I don't think I'll be able to tell my daughter,” says Marcos, a 27-year old clerk.
Among those who can't be totally open about it is Francisco, a 33-year-old actor who says that “…our society still has a lot of prejudices –people accept us more easily but no one goes through it without suffering,” referring to the coming out process. The rest of the people in the conversation engaged in a heated debate after this comment. Nevertheless, and regardless of their age, they all agreed that being gay today can even bring about some benefits, both in your social and professional life. Leo, a 23-year-old telemarketer adds “if you're in the shortlist for a job and you're the only gay candidate, they have a better opinion of you –we've gone all the way from being sick and perverted to being knowledgeable and having qualified opinions… When I find myself in a difficult situation I bring out my gay-most side and I get an answer on the spot…” That is, they see a positive use to their being gay. Nowadays the gay taste is considered appropriate, that which you ‘have' to have, and so that which the market uses to extend to the rest of society. “In the last party at the Planetario I was making out with another guy, and then this girl came up like possessed and couldn't stop telling us we were very cute…” says Nahuel, a 17-year-old student. Smiling, Mario, a pensioner of 73, remembers his experience at a time when coming out of the closet was a real heroic act. “Now everything is easier; when I was your age you had to hide to kiss another man; if the police found you, you were taken in for scandalous behavior, they made up a case (laughs). Now if you want a guy, you pick up the phone and that's it.” Walter, a 58-year-old psychologist, adds “when I was young, we would mingle in private circles, parties or meetings where you could be totally open, but you had to be lucky enough to get invited, because on the street it was inconceivable to meet someone… Anyway, I have good memories of the time, lots of excesses at those parties though, usually held at weekend houses… but it's true we were really locked into our closet.
The gay thing is in fashion today, not only in the aesthetic aspect of it anymore, but also in the productive one –you can export it. It has become a vital part in the production machinery. Gay people are respected consumers and producers. These are the cases in which the closet dwellers keep the key for themselves, irrespective of how much they can put their being gay to use. They need the closet to continue to produce. What's deceitful is turning your difference into a signature masquerade: I'm gay , and being gay becomes a precondition to exist. One lives and works through that legitimacy-investing masquerade.
At the other end of the scope are those who think it is not enough to come out of the closet –you have to burn it down. They believe it is necessary to reach a level in which you grow past the gay issue. Heterosexuals don't think of themselves as straight –they just are, period. Lucas, a 38-year-old musician, says “I've always held hands with all my boyfriends and nothing happened … and I'm talking about the late 80's. I don't care for any gay parades or things like that. Ever since I accepted myself gay I've always done what I felt like doing and I've never had any problems. If we all went out on the street freely, without any signs saying ‘I'm gay,' the issues would see a fast and organic solution. In my view flags are useless; they do not but bring back the closet issue. We have to burn everything down: the flag, the closet. The most difficult thing is to get rid of one's own homophobia…” Lucas' position perhaps puts forward the most critical view, i.e. it represents a sector in the gay community that thinks today there are no limits –let alone risks– to express yourself freely, and repression only comes from oneself. Pablo, a 25-year-old designer, adds “I've never experienced such freedom to express my feelings; now I can walk with my boyfriend holding hands with no concerns, although you always get a scrutinizing look, but it's just that, scrutinizing, not aggressive or threatening.” Nicolás, a 34-year-old major in communication, says “I want to be recognized for my work and not for my sexuality.”
And there are even more extreme views. David, a lawyer of 27, says “I'm sick and tired! There are gay men like me who can't cook, don't dance to Madonna, and don't give a shit about the gym, interior design or what some celebrity said.” He goes on to say “And the stupid gay friendly thing…, as if they said ‘ fags treated kindly here. ' (He laughs.) Gay friendly is a gay trap –they make you feel they're using you to make profit.”
Buenos Aires gay mecca… It is naive to believe that the great openness taking place in Buenos Aires is synonymous with progress. As soon as the market stops considering it profitable, or the economy collapses, who knows what could happen. Gayness is currently attractive because the market dictates so, but let us not be fooled, if the market changes direction what will come of all this ‘progress,' for the gay image will in turn cease to be a hot commodity. On the other hand, there are currently no real rights that bring gay people to the status of the rest of the citizens. But the good thing is that there is no sexual prejudice that can beat market economy, and if the market continues to see gay as profitable, it will continue to take that historical stigmatization off gay people's shoulders. Gays are no longer dominated by long-standing prejudices, because they have become part (like all consumers) of the market rule.
It goes without saying that today you can express all that belongs to the gay world without any prejudices. There are no extrinsic factors that might make someone repress their own sexuality, but that does not necessarily mean that a gay person is experiencing true freedom. Come in, come out, keep your key, set the closet on fire… they are different stages of a still unresolved answer, but that are ever closer to the needs of those who choose to love someone of their same sex. |
